October 18, 2005

Balko's Wal-Mart Game

File this under humor: you task friends and family to purchase each other odd combinations of goods at Wal-Mart, but they may spend no more than say the price of a movie ticket:

One version just dictates you come back with the overall best basket of bargain stuff. Another has each player drawing the name of someone else, then coming with $10 worth of items useful and suitable for that person. A naughtier version instructs each person to come back with the most embarassing or bizarre variety of goods

Posted by Kevin at 2:06 PM

September 2, 2005

Eminem + WM + Kids = Bizarre Music Video

Here's a strange music video filmed by some kids inside a Wal-Mart, choreographed well to Eminem's song Just Lose It.

Posted by Kevin at 3:45 PM

August 19, 2005

Wal-Mart's Husband Store (Humor)

ChronWatch has an amusing tale about Wal-Mart's new Husband Store:

A Wal-Mart store that sells husbands has just opened in Dallas, TX, where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building....

Posted by Kevin at 7:23 AM

June 28, 2005

Raze Supreme Ct., Build WM (UPDATE)

The Kelo decision is leading some people to have a little fun with the situation:

The Supremes don�t need their large building in Washington, D.C., to do their work. They could function just as effectively from offices in a large tent or warehouse building. Local government in Washington D.C. needs to tear down the Supreme Court building and replace it with something that will generate more tax revenue for the city, such as another Walmart store.

UPDATE: Meanwhile, Randy Barnett notes something similar:

On Monday June 27, Logan Darrow Clements, faxed a request to Chip Meany the code enforcement officer of the Towne of Weare, New Hampshire seeking to start the application process to build a hotel on 34 Cilley Hill Road. This is the present location of Mr. Souter's home.

Clements, CEO of Freestar Media, LLC, points out that the City of Weare will certainly gain greater tax revenue and economic benefits with a hotel on 34 Cilley Hill Road than allowing Mr. Souter to own the land.

The proposed development, called "The Lost Liberty Hotel" will feature the "Just Desserts Caf�" and include a museum, open to the public, featuring a permanent exhibit on the loss of freedom in America. Instead of a Gideon's Bible each guest will receive a free copy of Ayn Rand's novel "Atlas Shrugged."

A thing of beauty...

Posted by Kevin at 2:57 PM

May 16, 2005

Fark's Take on WM's Nazi Bookburning Ad

You can read all the details of Wal-Mart's foolish use of a photograph depicting a Nazi bookburning at Wal-Mart Watch and Wake-Up Wal-Mart, but for the real story you have to go to the Fark comments and just keep scrolling -- the debate seems simultaneously vulgar and civilized, which I hadn't thought possible...

FWIW, I thought putting Hitler's face on Wal-Mart's infamous bag-man was perfect.

Posted by Kevin at 10:40 PM

May 6, 2005

WM Bows to Unions (Humor, Of Course)

Scott Ott has a lot of fun:

"Our union critics were right," said H. Lee Scott Jr., Wal-Mart's chief executive, "We have an obligation to behave like General Motors did in the 1960s. And we've come to believe that the discount retail industry is primed for a chain that pays high wages to create the perception of high value through high-priced products. In addition, our focus groups indicate that Wal-Mart customers yearn for the emotional payoff that comes from providing bigger paychecks to the folks in the blue vests."

As part of the reengineering of the company, Wal-Mart will change its slogan from 'Always Low Prices' to 'Always Union Wages'. Prices will be marked up throughout the store, and many products will receive stickers indicating their higher perceived value with words like 'deluxe,' 'grand' and 'limited edition'.

In the short-term, analysts said that investors can expect to see their $48/share Wal-Mart stock (WMT) "level out" around $3 and then begin its upward climb as the store reestablishes its brand identity as the place where Americans shop to provide higher-wage jobs for less fortunate Americans.

Posted by Kevin at 4:16 PM