May 6, 2005

WM Bows to Unions (Humor, Of Course)

Scott Ott has a lot of fun:

"Our union critics were right," said H. Lee Scott Jr., Wal-Mart's chief executive, "We have an obligation to behave like General Motors did in the 1960s. And we've come to believe that the discount retail industry is primed for a chain that pays high wages to create the perception of high value through high-priced products. In addition, our focus groups indicate that Wal-Mart customers yearn for the emotional payoff that comes from providing bigger paychecks to the folks in the blue vests."

As part of the reengineering of the company, Wal-Mart will change its slogan from 'Always Low Prices' to 'Always Union Wages'. Prices will be marked up throughout the store, and many products will receive stickers indicating their higher perceived value with words like 'deluxe,' 'grand' and 'limited edition'.

In the short-term, analysts said that investors can expect to see their $48/share Wal-Mart stock (WMT) "level out" around $3 and then begin its upward climb as the store reestablishes its brand identity as the place where Americans shop to provide higher-wage jobs for less fortunate Americans.

Posted by Kevin on May, 6 2005 at 04:16 PM