Via the comments on this Blogcritics post, we have a wonderful spoof:
TORONTO (AP) A loud noise was heard in Jonquiere, Quebec as the door slammed shut at the local WalMart store. The worldwide retailing giant decided to close the doors to its store rather than give in to demands to unionize the huge discount store. The sound echoed throughout the region causing other WalMart stores to close. One by one, WalMart closed down operations at each store as the news of the Jonquiere closing spread. Fearful of having to pay workers a decent living wage, the corporate giant instead chose to quit doing business rather than start dealing with labor unions....A satire is funny when built on truth. However, the idea that most small businesses pay better wages and benefits than WM is completely unsupported by data, or my own personal andecdotal evidence. Still, fables built on myths are interesting structures...The ripple effect of the WalMart closings hit the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by noontime and loud cheering could be heard all across the state....
All across the mid-west and then extending out to the east, south, and west the store closings continued throughout the day....
In world developments, thousands of sweatshops in Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Indonesia, Thailand, and Costa Rico closed up shop. Worst hit was China where thousands of factories that produced low quality merchandise for WalMart were closed and the workers were sent back to the fields....As the sun set on the west coast, the last Walmart store locked its doors...
At the Vatican, Pope John Paul II got out of his bed to give his blessing to the WalMart store closings. �This is the best news since the end of communism!�
Posted by Kevin on March, 14 2005 at 10:20 AM
